Boys Will Be Boys: Why Society Doesn’t Hold Men Accountable For Broken Hearts

 

Boys will be boys the saying goes. Yes ! I do agree. I agree that boys will be just that. They will be boys. I also know for a fact that MEN will always be MEN. I saw a post on Instagram the other day that caught my attention. It was a man who had somehow come up with the idea that every single woman who has ended up heart broken is to blame for her misfortune. It is because of her ability to love, like, and feel passionately for a man is somehow her fault. We all know women are emotional creatures, and yes some man-boys do play on women’s emotions, especially when they know that you as the woman feel deeply about them. But, one thing I can’t do is sit and be quiet about the idea that it’s somehow totally a woman’s fault when her heart gets broken! I’m tired of women being blamed COMPLETELY for the things that men have taken part in! When you knowingly manipulate and play with someone’s emotions that says a lot about you as a “man”. Mostly that your pretty shallow and pathetic. I believe that society does not and probably will never hold men accountable for the things they say or do. A man can have several girl friends, tell each of them how much he likes them, have sex with all of them, tell half of them he wants to be with them, woo them, and it’s okay, because why? He’s a guy.They get deemed “SAVAGES.” For some weird reason in society men get away with a lot ! And guess what women?! If you’re too stupid, trusting, or naive then it’s your fault! Or maybe you’re like me, and not stupid, trusting, or naive. Maybe you just actually WANT to believe that when someone shares with you the exact same feelings that you have for them that they’re actually being real about it. Why would you not believe that someone who shares their feelings with you is actually being truthful? Man-boys will say just about anything to get in the panties. And guess what that’s okay because… Boys will be boys! And they’re boys. So when they tell you how much they feel and care about you all the while feeling the opposite or having ONE mission in mind, it’s okay because they’re guys. Actually, it’s NOT okay.And just because some guys may get what they want in this selfish process does not mean that it’s right .  

Devon Franklin(Meagan Goode’s husband ) had a lot to say on this matter. If you’re interested check it out here ! Some man-boys spend their whole lives breaking hearts and hurting women, and then when they’re ready to settle down they want a woman who isn’t damaged, a woman who will trust them, a woman who will without a shadow of a doubt believe them. Well, can you men start by being truthful about what we say, how we feel, and our intentions regarding one another. Can we look out for each other’s hearts!? MEN, and I’m speaking to men because only they will be able to understand this, can you protect your sister’s in Christ heart in spite of your selfish ambition. I know you may really like her, and I know how much you like her over there, and the other chick behind you, but PLEASE figure out in your mind what it is you REALLY want first before you mess with one of God’s daughters. I remember telling a guy (who CLEARLY had other motives for me despite what he said) the next time you see a really good woman like me, who’s doing well for herself and you THINK you may want to be with her, or you THINK you may like her unless you are ready at that moment to step up and truly be a part of her life like you THINK you are. LEAVE HER ALONE! Don’t tell her that you want to be with her. You can’t be with one girl and be with another girl at the same time sir! It’s not happening. Afterwards, this dude grilled me for not trusting him and why would I? You are not trustworthy sir! Lol His response to me was angrily , “What ! You’re not going to tell me what to do? Why would I want to be with someone who’s going to tell me what to do!?” Besides the fact that there were already a million and one things wrong with this dude, he and many other boys like him just don’t understand how selfish they become when they seek their own gratification at the expense of a woman’s heart.
That’s why having discernment or intuition is SO important. I discussed this in my previous blog post here! And yes we as women are supposed to be led by the Spirit and guard our hearts, we as women are supposed to not awaken love before the time is right, but if you are a guy and you are knowingly telling a woman things that you MAY/THINK you feel at the time just to make yourself happy , boost your ego, or increase you’re ever so present options just STOP IT! It’s stressful and unnecessary. You can’t go around breaking hearts intentionally or unintentionally and expect all to go well for you. At one point boys, you’re going to be or should be held accountable.  You’re going to have to answer for your actions maybe not in the way you think but YOU will.

And men you can hold your male friends accountable(although I know that’s not likely to happen) That’s what a good friend does. A good friend does NOT ALWAYS agree with you. They don’t sit by apathetically as you make errors. A good friend will help you to grow into a MAN. The bible says iron sharpens iron. How are you going to be sharpened as a man if you’re still holding onto selfish boy-like activities? How are you going to improve your character as a man if you don’t have other MEN around you edifying you, or providing you with constructive criticism and guiding you. He helps shape his fellow man’s character. If you see a good friend who has no good intention for a young woman encourage him to chill and leave that woman alone instead of being passive about the matter. I know there’s guy code, but what if that woman is your friend, your mother, or your sister, or later on she could even be your DAUGHTER. Give women the same respect you would want to be given or the same respect you would want your mother or sister to be given.

I spoke with a friends of mine.  I had recently been trying to hook him up with one of my girl friends. I had asked him why he hadn’t approached her or asked her out on a date as of yet. I mean, he even told me how beautiful she thought she was and how cool of a person she was too. When he answered me he said “There’s a girl who I’ve been seeing lately and I really like her. I didn’t want to be dating two women at once. So out of respect for her, I didn’t pursue her. I’m trying to find my wife.And you can’t find your wife if you’re a boy and still playing those games.” The difference between this guys and the guy I previously mentioned is that one is going about dating selfishly and with his own wants in mind, not caring about what he says or who he hurts, the other is taking into account his feeling and her feelings as well. It all comes down to respect at the end of the day. Dating several women at once and ending up with one by default is foolish at least to me, especially at my age. Not only are you being selfish but you’re  destroying hearts because of your own gratification. It’s really time to grow up. Quit with the games. If you don’t know if you want her or if you don’t know if you do, or if you only want to hit, mess around or whatever, sit down and let a REAL man who truly wants to take care of her, lover her, and protect her heart do the real work. And then, maybe when you are ready stand up, be a man who finds ONE woman, dates ONE woman(not by default) and make HER your wife. Although I’m slightly cynical about it all I’m challenging every guy to be a man, be honest, selfless, protect a woman’s heart, while dating or just keep it moving. I really encourage you to watch this video here  It’s a sermon given at Mt Rubidoux church. I pray that it will challenge you to be a better man !

 Ladies, although it’s hard especially when you REALLY like or even love a guy pay attention! It’s okay to love and trust someone ( although you should not trust blindly) but sometimes we get our hearts broken, it sucks so bad. It’s a pain that I’d never wish on my worse enemy, but from what I’ve learned is this:
For every one boy that treats you as an option or as if you don’t really matter, there’s at least 5 MEN who are ready and waiting to give you the love, honor, dedication, security, priority, and protection you deserve. Although you may have not found it or him never, never, never take less than what you deserve. You’re a gem not an option. You deserve to be a wife and not a lover by default. It’s okay to get it wrong once or twice because guess what somehow you always end up getting it right. You are good, and yeah there may be lots of good women out here but no one that has your mind,  your heart or no one that is quite like you. Just love you, never settle,and boss up with a man! But until that day comes, wait and take your time. You’ll be so glad you did 🙂

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