On the internet earlier last week, a video went viral. The video which you can find here shows Kourtney, the heartbroken, young girl who was cheated on multiple times pondering the question of why. Why had her so-called best friend cheated on her, why had he caused her so much pain? WHY? WHY!? WHY!? And if you’re like me, you immediately began resonating with this poor girl thinking how beautiful she is and why she even subjected herself to the dusty, frog, fuck boy sitting across from her. While watching the video I felt her pain. I and many others have been in her exact shoes. Questioning why the person we wanted at one point in time didn’t treat us the right way. The truth is no one is exempt from true heartbreak, and if you haven’t had one yet you will. It’s just life. I could go on and on about this video, but one of the most explicit things I saw in the video was the sheer emotionless face her ex boyfriend or as she likes to say her “best friend” had. Seeing his face you can immediately tell that he gives zero cares about her or her feelings. Somewhat sociopathic and narcissistic ! Seeing his reaction led me to the main point of this post which is… EMPATHY.
Okay, say it with me EMPATHY. E-M-P-A-T-H-Y. It’s the ability to resonate one’s feelings with another individual’s feelings, and I honestly believe it’s ONE of the most important factors when looking for a mate. Having dealt with someone who lacks empathy, now I find it to be my highest priority amongst character and integrity when searching for a man to involve myself with. No one is immune to heart-break, but if you take a step back, assess yourself, and then the situation you’re in, you’ll always realize there’s so much more being offered elsewhere.
Empathy says,“ I didn’t mean to hurt you, how can I make it better?” It recognizes sadness. It properly apologizes. It reacts to sadness. It recognizes happiness and all feelings in between. Empathy coupled with respect, desires to know what happened and how to make it better all of which was not conveyed through dusty fuckboy’s emotions. I would suggest to all millennials, when dating look for the specific characteristic of empathy. Honestly, it’s not a characteristic you would think of wanting. Empathy is not really exercised in our community, especially the black community. Men are taught this phony sense of masculinity. They can’t cry, they’re not supposed to ‘feel’ or show emotions all of which seemingly makes them less manly. Although Hurt Bae, sought closure, there is never any closure where there is a lack of empathy and respect. Not only does Hurt Bae deserve an empathetic,respectful partner , but all people do. You don’t have to like or stay with anyone, but you do have to show people a basic level of respect. Hopefully we all can learn something from this video and post!